Release

Apparently I'm horrible at keeping up with writing. Meh. Over the last couple months the depression has gotten worse. I've been going in and out of these happy/sad phases. I don't like it one bit. I'm signed up to do a medical study on depression, so I'm hoping that will give me some insight on my problems. It'll just be nice to be able to talk to a therapist. It's hard waking up in the morning and not wanting to start the day. I truly hate that feeling, so hopefully that changes soon. I think it will; I've started to let go of some people that I feel don't give me anything. I only need up lifting healthy people in my life especially while I'm so vulnerable. After six months of trying to get him to commit it has ended on terms I don't like. We haven't spoken in a week after he told me he was stressed and depressed and couldn't handle stuff right now. This is right after I told him I loved him. How do I let myself date guys like this. Every tells me I deserve more and I know that's the case, but how do I keep letting shitty guys hold me up. I found out a week or so ago that Jonah is in fact in jail. I miss that bugger; very much. Can't wait for him to be released and I can't wait to be released from the hold certain people have on me.