Words of Wisdom

"There are lots of ways that people try to, I dunno like, escape their minds right. Like get intoxicated and some people ya know use drugs, some people use alcohol. But there is also Spiritual intoxication, like God intoxication. That never goes away, its more rich and more beautiful than any other out of thinking experience and its a different kind of wine. This is a song about trying to get drunk off that wine. " -Trevor Hall

"I might have been born just plain white trash; But Fancy was my name"

Tiffany and I got our "Fancy" tattoos yesterday. I was so excited to get them together knowing how much that word and the song by Reba Mcentire means to us. Both Tiffany and I grew up in simular family homes, so I think that is really why we bonded so fast. I'm so grateful to have her in my life. She is one of the most beautiful and strong woman I know. I can only hope and dream that our friendship will last forever.

Letters from Erin

Erin is in the Air Force now. I miss her so very much. I got her second letter the other day. It's wonderful to hear from her and to have someone to write. No one writes letters anymore; it's sad.

What a lot we lost when we stopped writing letters. You can't reread a phone call. ~Liz Carpenter.

Release

Apparently I'm horrible at keeping up with writing. Meh. Over the last couple months the depression has gotten worse. I've been going in and out of these happy/sad phases. I don't like it one bit. I'm signed up to do a medical study on depression, so I'm hoping that will give me some insight on my problems. It'll just be nice to be able to talk to a therapist. It's hard waking up in the morning and not wanting to start the day. I truly hate that feeling, so hopefully that changes soon. I think it will; I've started to let go of some people that I feel don't give me anything. I only need up lifting healthy people in my life especially while I'm so vulnerable. After six months of trying to get him to commit it has ended on terms I don't like. We haven't spoken in a week after he told me he was stressed and depressed and couldn't handle stuff right now. This is right after I told him I loved him. How do I let myself date guys like this. Every tells me I deserve more and I know that's the case, but how do I keep letting shitty guys hold me up. I found out a week or so ago that Jonah is in fact in jail. I miss that bugger; very much. Can't wait for him to be released and I can't wait to be released from the hold certain people have on me.