December

Tonight is my works Christmas party. Pretty excited about it. We got employee reviews yesterday, basically was a paper telling me I sucked at my job. Thanks! Whatever. Gris Gris is fitting in well. The dogs and him play all the time. It's hilarious. I got my nose pierced today, it's just a stud for now and in the next couple months I'll be able to get a hoop. Carly thinks hoops are trashy. I guess I'm trashy then. She comes next week; I am really excited. I can't wait for this year to be over with and hoping it ends on a good note. This has been a really hard year for me; more than anyone knows. I have had great days and a lot of bad ones. I have finally be able to admit to myself I'm actually depressed. Stress about money is the biggest cause. I can handle everything else. I'm also finally admitting to myself that I have a lot of built up anger towards a lot of people; but as I have always done, I hold everything in until I one day explode. I don't want to be like that. I want 2011 to be better; to be easier. Making changes; little by little. I'm happy at the moment, especially when I don't think about shit. Not the way to go; I just want to get all the "shit" out of my life.

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving just passed, had a nice time at M&R's with Carly. That was our 5th Thanksgiving together. She left today, miss her already. Didn't get to spend much time with her, but Christmas is fast approaching. It's finally getting cold outside, super excited about that. My grandma sent me a text today, telling me she read all my blog entries! haha glad most of them are modest. I tried making a video blog last night. No bueno. I sounded like a slightly challenged, 12 year old girl, from the white trash south. Ugh. I'll stick to typing my thoughts. For everyone's sake. I'm having drinks with Tyler tonight @Dog and Duck, hopefully Jack will join us. I want to get Tyler's opinion on him. He is just super quite, so we'll see. Well Tyler is super quite also, so maybe they will fall in love. I'd be cool with that! I get to see my Pawpa in a week. Very excited. My dads girl friend listed Autumn as her daughter on Facebook. I think it's so great that Autumn has a good woman role model in her life. That is what she needs right now. It's almost December, so crazy. December means I should get my $3/hr at work yet and hopefully I'll be getting my tattoo. I'm so excited for it. It's beautiful. I think in the new year I'm going to start looking for a better job. I really need to find something that has to do with fashion. Need more money. I've got to get my license soon, so I can get a car. I really want the Honda Fit, it's quite amazing, but it'd be like $300 a month. Boo. End this with a short rant of how I hate flaky people, I hate when people are short with me, and I hate the taste of peanuts in my mouth.

Life is divine chaos. Embrace it. Forgive yourself. Breathe. And enjoy the ride.

Quite possibly one of my favorite quotes ever.

Beautiful girl I might foster

NEFF

Carly will be here tomorrow. I'm super super excited. Even though I am super poor right now, things seem to be looking up a bit. It was weird all of a sudden, I felt happier. I've been doing better at work, so that helps. I came to the realization today that I need to stop worrying about dating right now. I really need to completely focus on myself. I don't need boys getting in my way. It helps that I don't see anything going anywhere with some of these gents. I may be fostering a pup. Pretty excited! I love animals and would put my dogs lives before mine. They are my everything. My coworker had a masquerade party Saturday night. I had semi-drunkin' sex with her roommate. Bwahaha . Whatever, add him to the list. Fuck what people think of me, I love myself more than I love anyone, and I am happy with who I am. Fuck everyone that has a problem with me.

Flannel

Oh it's winter finally, that means lots and lots of flannel. Very excited. My job knocked me down to $9 a couple weeks ago, so that's been pretty damn lame. I've been trying to go out more, drinking more is what is happening! Found some old polorids of Carly and I from Lubbock times, wow were we chubby! I miss Carly a lot, really wish she was hear in Austin. Would have helped with all this stress I've been going through. I've been seriously broke, it's really no fun. I've had to borrow a lot of money from Grandma. I think I'm up to owing her around $1,000.Ugh. Whatever, It'll get better; it has to. I'm still a magnet for slackers, I'm pretty sure that'll never change. I came to the realization that I've got to stop dating Hipsters. They are no bueno. If I want to keep my goal of getting married in the next 2 years, I really need to start dating for reals. Easier said than done. The boys that say they hate flaky people, are the biggest flakes themselves. I have learned that. Also these guys play games. I'm sick of it. Just get to the fucking point. Weither you like me is pretty damn easy to decided. It's a yes or no question. Stop fucking leading me on. It's getting annoying. One minute they like me, the next they don't. But wait, give em' a day or two and they will decided they like me again. One little boy in particular. Then you get the ones that have no time for me; the least needy girl in the world. What finally you find one that is pretty great and of course I screw it up. Blahhh. Then you have the boys that are just friends. Wonderful. I prefer guy friends over girls. Oh but wait they have to go and ruin a simple friendship and start liking me. So maybe booze was the start of it, but still. Lame. Men are LAME. I had a dream the other night that I was dating a girl. When I woke up, I didn't totally hate the idea. Wonder why!

Last night

FOUR LOKO + HEAVY METAL= GOOD TIMES.

Drawings....

I drew a picture for a friend. It's pretty awesome.

Back to the daily grind....

So today was the last day of my week vacation. I have mixed feelings about going back to work. At least I won't be so damn bored. New Orleans was amazing. I didn't expect the French Quarters could be so pretty. I seriously didn't want to leave. Tiffany, Jen, and I has a blast. I drank too much one night. Oh well. Everyone said not the drink the "Hurricane" and anything in a test tube. I did both! Apparently one of the shot girls at the bar tried to kiss me. I told her she wasn't pretty enough. Haha. I don't remember this. Also I guess I saw some guy that looked like Shaggy from Scooby Doo, so i went around the whole night asking everyone where my Scooby Doo boyfriend was! I also split my drink in the bathroom and the big ass black lady bathroom attendant wasn't very happy with me. Oops. I've been super stressed about life in general, but especially about money. My spending habits have got to change. I've been spending WAY too much money on food. Last month is was almost $500. That's insane. This month I owe some money to people, but it's going to be a better money. I'm going to come out ahead at the end, that's the goal. Favorite quote of the day....

"Life is divine chaos. Embrace it. Forgive yourself. Breathe. And enjoy the ride."

Beyoncé - Me, Myself And I

ME, MYSELF, AND I

I've slowly but surely learning that I've only got myself in this world. Yeah I have friends and family, but in the end they could betray me. I see nothing wrong with having the idea of only looking out for yourself. I don't think it's selfish. I've always put others feelings before mine and I'm done. I've got a proclamation to myself. I've got to do me. I need to cut the drama out of my life, which is always easier said then done. Me, Myself, and I, that's all I've got in the end.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4S37SGxZSMc

Quote to Live By.

“For everything you have missed, you have gained something else, and for everything you gain, you lose something else.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Fishing

I want to go fishing!! Last night Jenny and I had our house warming party. It went really well. I think everyone had fun. Cleaning up wasn't bad either. I'm trying to start eating better and exercising, so I'm going to the trail today. I really need to get a bike so that I can start riding again and get in better shape! I've been super tired lately, ready for October and my week off of work. Here I come California. I'm pretty damn excited about the road trip with Tiffany and Jen. I got my Easter dress yesterday. Yeah yeah I know I'm cool, I buy an Easter dress months and months in advance! I need to be productive.

Blahh...

Let's see..... I got Charlotte fixed, finally don't have to worry about her. My manager took me off the sales floor and now I'm the Techs assistant. It's okay, nice not to have to worry about sales anymore. I'm loving the new place, Jenny is a super easy roommate. Tonight I'm going to go hear some open mic night blues at Antonies with my sister Amber. I very rarely get to hang out with my sisters, so I'm excited about any chance I get. Wish Erica could come. The dating life sucks as usual. I swear boy's like me for a week, then bam they run away from me like I'm the plague. I know it's not me, I'm amazing! :) Whatever I've got myself to worry about. I'm going to force myself to start saving money. ha. I also really want to start painting/charcoal again. It really relaxes me. I need to release some stress right now.

Charlotte

Damn it, Charlotte may be pregnant. We are solving that by getting her a smushmortion. I'm not happy about it, but I don't want to deal with puppies. She would be a horrible mother as well! I got a new bed today. It's been a couple years since I've had a good nights sleep, because of my sucky ass bed. It was falling apart, so I finally gave in and bought a new one. It better be worth the $200 for it and make my back stop hurting. I have still yet to unpack all of my crap. Oh well. Oh and boys suck. Why must they all give you a run around, then be sweet. Fuck them. I don't need em'.

Geeze I'm bad at this

I always say that I need to remember to write everyday, well that obviously isn't happening, but this time I'm really going to try to write everyday or at least a couple times a week. So lets see, what's new Emily? Hmmm....

My coworker and I had planed on moving to Portland in August, but she decided not to, and I didn't want to move up there by myself, so now we are getting a town house off of South Lamar together. Should move in this week. Really excited. I'm in love with myself, so the whole dating thing hasn't been working out so well. I'm just to selfish. I personally see nothing wrong with being picky. You know what I'm okay with growing old alone, I'll have some land and live on it with my hundreds of dachshunds. I'd honestly be content with that. Sasha and Charlotte are doing well, I'm pretty sure they are excited for the move. I went skydiving a couple weeks ago. It was such an amazing experience. Going up in the plane as well as jumping was the most relaxed I've ever been. It was so calming. An experience that is hard to explain.

"Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway."

New Stuff!

Finally getting a chance to update this little thing. I finally got a new job. Yayy. I now work at Discount Electronics. Who would hire me for a computer store, idk. I'm doing pretty well actually. Learning quickly and taking it all in. We get pretty busy, but my boss is really proud of me. Which is a nice change from being yelled at every day. I work with some pretty cool people. Two girls, one who is pretty awesome. We will be friends!! AHHHHH I also got my tattoo. Finally. I'm so excited about it. It looks so awesome. Eliza also got two tattoos, which look so baller.

New Week

Carly left yesterday and I already miss her. She is hopefully coming up for my birthday at the end of this month. Then I should be going to see her in Lubbock at some point soon. I can't wait for my birthday. It will be so nice to turn 21. Work has been surprisingly not so bad! I have been thinking a lot about school and my major, as well as what I want to do with it. I have finally come up with what I want. At some point before I'm 30 I want to open a clothing store, that has a coffee shop in it, then at night I can have live music. I really think it would work super well here in Austin. Now I just need to get rich to be able to do it!!!